1. THEY BREAK PLANS AND LEAVE YOU STRANDED
Sometimes, life gets in the way and we may find that we have to cancel plans with our friends. This is a normal part of life. However, you may be friends with a toxic person if they’re constantly cancelling on you – because something better has come along. This means that they’ll make plans with you so long as there isn’t something better for them to do. Be on the lookout for friends who seem to always be cancelling on your plans together. It’s a good sign that they don’t respect your time.
2. THEY TALK BEHIND YOUR BACK
Some people will say positive things about their friends to other people because they genuinely enjoy them and are proud of their achievements. However, toxic friends will be saying cruel and hurtful things behind your back. You’ll find out that they may be gossiping about you or making fun of you to others.
These types of people may try to play it off as a joke, but it’s a red flag that you deserve better. But have you ever wondered why they talk behind your back? When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth just like you did.”
3. THEY SPILL SECRETS NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT WOULD HURT YOU
If you tell a friend something in confidence, it’s generally assumed that they won’t tell other people. A toxic friend cannot be trusted to keep your secrets, and you may find that other people already know about something that you told this friend in confidence. This is a toxic behavior and shows that they’re not a trustworthy person. It also shows that they only care about having something interesting to say to other people, even if it comes at your expense.
4. THEY TELL JOKES AT YOUR EXPENSE
Joking around with your friends and teasing one another often comes with having to learn to laugh at yourself a little. However, with a toxic friend, the jokes are always at your expense, and they’re always just a little too mean. But what’s the difference between humor that helps and humor that hurts?
Many people who use negative humor just don’t know any better – or any alternative. Most of what they have seen, heard and experienced is toxic humor – humor used as a weapon rather than as a tool. It’s no wonder this is the style they adopt. Laughing with others leaves people with whole self-esteem; laughing at others leaves people with a hole in their self-esteem.”
5. THEY ALWAYS LEAVE YOU FEELING USED
Friends help one another out, but a toxic friend oversteps your boundaries and never reciprocates. After spending a day with this type of person, you may find that they spent all your money and didn’t even say thank you or seem grateful. A toxic friend is going to leave you feeling used. This is a red flag. If you find that you never feel good after being with them, you might need to cut this person off.
6. THEY’RE NEVER THERE WHEN YOU NEED THEM
A toxic friend uses up all of your emotional, physical and financial resources without ever being there when you need them. Oftentimes, you never even think to ask them for help because you know that they’re not a reliable person to ask. You may notice that this type of person will become irritated or angry if you’re not around to help them, but seems to disappear when you need them.
7. THEY STEAL YOUR THUNDER
A toxic person will always have to one-up you. If you have good news to share, they’re always going to have something to take away your moment. This type of friend can’t stand not to be in the spotlight. Whether you’re trying to share an achievement or find support and sympathy after a hardship, a toxic friend is going to have something much more important to talk about. They’re the type of person to get engaged at a wedding.
8. THEY’RE ALWAYS ANGRY WITH SOMEONE
No matter what day of the week, a toxic friend is going to have a rotating list of people that they’re mad at. Whether it be their significant other, a family member or a mutual friend, they’re always angry with someone. This type of person is perpetually wronged, and they’re always going to be looking to you to validate their feelings – and they’ll even get angry if you try to play devil’s advocate or mediate in any way.
If you have a toxic friend in your life that’s making you feel more negativity than you might otherwise feel, it’s important to know that you don’t owe them your time or energy. Toxic people can change, but it’s not your duty to wait for them to do so. You don’t deserve to be left feeling used, hurt or left behind by a toxic friend.