Having a clingy partner can cause issues in the relationship, even if you love them and understand where they’re coming from, whether it be abandonment issues or low self-esteem. Knowing the important signs that your partner is too clingy will help you be able to address the issue and deal with it before it starts to cause problems in the relationship.
1. THEY’RE ALWAYS TEXTING / CALLING YOU
This is one of the earliest and most obvious signs that your partner is far too clingy. The minute you two are apart they are texting you, constantly. They seem to get distressed or uncomfortable if they don’t know where you are or don’t have access to talk to you whenever they want to. If you’re out with your friends, you may notice that they’re constantly sending you messages and making sure that they’re always in contact with you.
2. WHEN YOU DON’T RESPOND, THEY BECOME DISTRESSED
If they send you a text message and you don’t respond within a certain period of time, it may cause them to get distressed, nervous or upset. The reasons for this can be varied: they may catastrophize a situation, or they may be worried you’re angry with them or they’re insecure.
Letting your partner know that there are going to be times that you can’t respond and that it doesn’t mean anything bad can help quell their fears. Your partner may also want to seek anxiety counseling.
3. THEY’RE FAR TOO INTERESTED IN YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA
If your partner likes to look at your Instagram, or tags you in things on Facebook, this isn’t too much of an issue. However, if they’re starting to dig through your social media and begin to ask you invasive questions about a comment that you received on an old Instagram post, or questioning the people you have on your friends list, it may be a sign your partner is a little too nervous and clingy. Discussing with them honestly what their fears are and why they feel the need to dig so much can help get to the bottom of the feeling that is driving the behavior.
4. THEY HATE WHEN YOU GO OUT WITHOUT THEM
Sometimes, people in relationships have different sets of friends. If your partner becomes upset or distressed when you go out with your friends without them, this is a red flag that your partner is a little too clingy – especially if you only go out occasionally, and they get upset every time. This could be due to your partner not having the same type of support system or friend circle. They may be feeling left out if they don’t go out as much. Encouraging them to find a group of friends that they can go out with will make them feel more at ease when you leave the house.
5. THEY ADOPT ALL YOUR INTERESTS … AND DROP THEIR OWN
An overly clingy partner will want to have as much in common with you as possible, even if this means abandoning things that they once enjoyed in order to adopt your interests, even if they don’t really like them.
The best way to handle this is to encourage your partner to continue to do the things that they like, and even engage in them with them. An overly clingy partner will want you to be the center of their world – and sometimes they have to be shown that you’re not!
6. THEY HOLD BACK THEIR FEELINGS OR OPINIONS
Clingy partners tend to be extremely self-conscious or have low self-esteem. This can result in them holding back their true opinions, or allowing your own worldview to become their own. Clingy partners tend to do this in order to make sure that they don’t drive their partners away. Making sure that your partner feels safe expressing their political, religious or social beliefs around you can alleviate this desire to change their opinions to match your own.
7. THEY’RE MORE INTO YOU THAN YOU ARE INTO THEM
This is a tough one to deal with. If you’re dating someone casually, it may be clear that they’re far more into you than you are into them.
Making sure you set boundaries early in the relationship, if it’s a casual one, will make it so that your partner doesn’t expect too much out of you, or expect more than you’re willing to put forward. It sucks when the lines of a relationship aren’t clearly drawn.
