5 Main Ways A Person Feels Loved In A Relationship ~ Billy Caputo

How do you show your partner that you love them?

Do I matter to you?

Do you really love me?

In one couple I know, partner A cooks dinner for partner B every night.  Partner B says, “I appreciate that my partner cooks me dinner.  It’s real nice, but it doesn’t make me feel loved or valued.  I actually feel loved when my partner tells me what he appreciates about me – qualities he sees in me that he admires, etc.  That is when my heart is filled and I feel his love.”

I often hear couple say, “I do so much for you, but it’s never good enough!”  If you ever hear those words, it’s possible that you are giving to your partner, but you are not scratching them right where they itch.  Remember that we often give what we want to get! For example, maybe you love receiving gifts from your partner – so naturally, you come home with flowers, chocolates, etc. for your partner.  While they are probably very appreciated, it doesn’t say “I love you” to everyone.  It may not be their “Love Language

  • Acts of service – Making the bed, picking up dry cleaning, cooking – things to make your life easier.
  • Physical touch – Hugging, kissing, holding hands, hand on your knee, etc.
  • Quality time – Sitting together, alone, talking. What constitutes “quality time” is often different for different people, so be sure to clarify for your partner.
  • Gifts – Being thoughtful around birthdays, anniversaries, buying clothes or other items for your partner.
  • Verbal – Telling your partner what you appreciate about them.  Again, remember to clarify. Some people like being told that you appreciate how they look, others like hearing what they do, and others love hearing what you appreciate about who they are inside.

You should always know the answer to “what can I do, dear partner, to make you feel most loved and valued by me?”

If you don’t know the definite answer to that question, ask your partner pronto!  Be prepared to deliver daily to your partner and watch your relationship grow closer.