Many women have the frustrating experience of going out with a guy on one or a few dates, thinking that things go very well between the two of them, and then having that guy suddenly stop calling, disappear and lose all interest in them. It is probably not a big deal when it happens with one or two guys, but if this has been your experience with men over and over for several years or longer, it is hard to not take this personally and not start believing that there is something about you that turns men off and makes those men lose interest in you. Obviously, every dating situation and every interaction between you and a particular guy is unique and different. Therefore, the reasons behind the guy losing interest in you are just as different. Having said that, there are several common reasons that a man may lose interest in you, besides the typical “no chemistry” situation, and the other very common situation, where the guy is simply not interested in dating one woman as he is driven toward sexual novelty and variety regardless of who he meets today. The following are top eight reasons why guys lose interest in a woman they started seeing, and what you can do to eliminate those possible causes and thus increase your ability of keeping the guy’s interest and desire to be with you:
1. Guys Lose Interest In You Because You Are Overweight
It is a cruel but also a true fact that if a woman is not physically attractive enough, there will still be guys who will be willing to go out with her but, that won’t usually last. While there is only so much we can do to improve our looks and be more attractive physically, there is one major step that a woman can take to become more attractive, and that’s losing weight, if she is overweight. The very interesting fact that’s rarely mentioned about women is this: if you are not overweight – if your body is reasonably lean and toned, chances are that unless there is some serious disfigurement in your face or body, you are probably attractive enough and sexually desirable to most guys. If you are overweight, losing weight and building a more attractive body is paramount to your ability to attract more men – from catching their eye when you are walking down the street, to wanting them to be with and touch you. This is not to mention all the other benefits that losing excess weight will have on your life – better health, more energy, higher self confidence, better posture, and numerous other benefits that go well beyond the scope of this article.
2. Guys Lose Interest In You Because You Talk Too Much
No matter how smart a person is, if he dominates a conversation, he will boring and even tiring to the other person. I and my friends met some incredibly beautiful women over the course of our dating lives, but we simply couldn’t stand being around some of them because they wouldn’t stop talking. While it’s obvious when someone else talks a lot, it’s not nearly as noticeable when you evaluate your own conversational habits. One of my favorite ways to keep yourself in check and making sure that you don’t talk too much is making sure that you don’t talk for longer than 30 seconds in a row without letting the other person respond. I also encourage you to ask your friends whether they think you talk too much or interrupt their conversation or otherwise dominate your interaction. Insist that they be honest and not tell you what you want to hear, but instead – tell you how it is.
3. Guys Lose Interest In You Because You are Too Uptight
This girl told me once on the phone that she couldn’t meet me because her car broke down, to which I replied: “Well, that’s what happens when you let women drive.” Instead of laughing at the comment as most women would, she got angry, thought I was serious, hung up on me and later demanded an apology. Few things are bigger turn-offs and are more unattractive than a woman who is uptight, who can’t take a joke and who says “Ahh, how dare you!” instead of laughing at an inappropriate comment or a sexual innuendo and dishing one of her own. Dark humor, sarcasm and sexual comments are a spice life and love life for every interesting, ambitious guys. If you are interesting in dating and having a relationship with one, you should consider stopping to take yourself too seriously, open your mind and enjoy dark humor, rather than being intimidated by it or judge it.
4. Guys Lose Interest In You Because You Are Boring
If you don’t have much to say, and if you don’t have too many interesting thoughts and observations to share, and you don’t know how to respond to what the guy you are seeing says, thinks and believes in, you are not going to keep a great guy’s interest for very long. Boring dates feel like a torture, and no one is interested in going into one or sticking around when they realize that they have to push the conversation to simply fill the time. Surely there is no shortcut to becoming a more interesting person, but there is a great, long-term solution – you started learning more things about yourself, about your environment and the world. TV, magazines, books, meeting new people, watching different shows, and engaging in social events will give you much more material to think about and form your views on. Surely, there is a lot of junk out there on TV and in magazines, but there is also lots of good material, and it is your duty to choose and “filter” the bad stuff out. As you become a more interesting woman, this will go far beyond improving your dating life and will make you much more attractive and interesting to your friends, and co-workers, and will likely create new social and professional opportunities for you that you didn’t even think existed and were available to you.
5. Guys Lose Interest In You Because You Are an Ultra Feminist
While equality and equal rights are great, more and more women take the notion of feminism way too far. For some women showing and proving to the world that they can do and be anything a guy can is their life’s mission. Equally opportunities for women is a great concept without which no society has the right to call itself free and civilized. However, when this equality comes at the expense of femininity and elegance – women pay a high price of becoming very unattractive to the opposite sex. It’s a fundamental law of nature that masculine, confident, attractive men are attracted to the opposite – feminine women – women who possess a feminine voice, walk, and manners. Don’t take me wrong. I would never suggest that a woman should stay home and cook and clean. This is not what it is about.
A woman can be very educated, successful and independent and still retain her femininity and be proud of being a woman. Stop hiding the fact that you are different from guys. You are and it’s good news – good for you and for men. There is a saying “Bitches get corner office.” I seriously doubt it. Part of being professional and romantically successful has always been being a lady, and being a lady and a “bitch” are mutually exclusive.
6. Because You Are a Victim of Your Own Bad Dating Past
Many women have a bad relationship with a guy who is controlling and possessive at least once in their lives. Breaking up with such a guy feels like a very liberating experience – like putting more air in your lungs, like letting your tied wings go free, if you will. A woman who goes through such a bad relationship in which she submitted to the guy’s controlling and possessive nature, jumps into another extreme with the other guys that she meets later. She makes it a point to show to every guy she meets that she is not going to “obey” him and do what she wants. She will do the opposite from what the guys asks or suggests just for the sake of showing that no one can tell her what to do, and that she decides what she does for herself. This is unfortunate because it creates unnecessary problems and challenges in communication. If you believe that you create such challenges in your interaction with men, you should do your best to not let your past negative experience with a jealous guy affect your present and future interactions with men.
7. Because You Are Not Great in Bed / You Are a Mediocre Sex Partner
Many women either ruin the romantic tension and the connection with the guy in bed. Few women act in a way that will make sleeping with them a great, memorable experience that the guy is eager to repeat. Some of the big turn-offs for guys are women who are either too quiet in bed (not making any sounds that would indicate their enjoyment and would look like they are bored), or those who talk too much, or say something inappropriate and irrelevant at the very wrong time. Not many women know what they are doing with their hands and their mouth when it comes to the man’s body. If a man had a mediocre experience sleeping with you for the first time, he is unlikely to want to do that again.
This might sound extreme, but there is probably no better way to learn how to be a better sex partner than by observation. Thus, you should not be afraid to rent erotic or even quality pornographic movies that will inspire you and will give you some great ideas on how to make your sexual experience more sensational and satisfying to both you and the guy. Make no mistake about it – this kind of skill is not common, and your guy, especially if he has “been around the block” will appreciate it because he knows that this is not common. Sure, you might be grossed out by some of the things you are going to see in these movies, but if you learn a thing or two out of a movie that will make your and your potential or existing partner’s sex life more exciting and fulfilling, that movie was time well spent.
8. Because You Are Too Competitive and “Fiesty”
It is very common for a woman who had dated a controlling, possessive, jealous guy to try to “make up” to herself for that time that she was subjected to such treatment, by jumping into another extreme, and challenging her next partner for a reason or not reason just for the sake of showing to him over and over and he cannot control her. She will disagree on the place to eat, go out at, travel to, and do not because she doesn’t like his idea, but because she wants to demonstrate to him that he cannot control her. A strong, confident guy will be turned-off and will lose interest in such a woman quickly because to him – such an attitude is incompatible with a very notion of being feminine. If you believe that you have been trying to overcompensate for the past “subordination” in your relationships with men by being too independent and too competitive, do yourself a favor and don’t allow your past haunt your present future and don’t allow the immaturity of your past dating partners to negatively affect your dating life today.
No one can guarantee to you any kind of protection from meeting and seeing guys who will later lose interest in you. However, by paying attention to the above eight possible issues that you might be having in your interactions with guys, you will dramatically improve the chances of keeping any guy’s interest and coming across as a more attractive and desirable woman.