Aries (March 21-April 19)
Don’t date: Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Aries are rule breakers and Capricorns are rule makers. You’ll constantly feel criticized for your renegade style which can frighten well-behaved Cap. Spontaneity is your jam. Capricorn can’t even go to dinner without making a reservation. You’re both high achievers, but workaholic Capricorn is married to the job. You may feel like you’re in a polyamorous relationship with Capricorn’s boss—and good luck getting that Recommended Daily Allowance of attention every Aries needs.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Don’t date: Aquarius (January 20 to February 18)
Wait…what? Do. Not. Compute. Although you like your rules and traditions, Aquarius’ wiring feels downright robotic to you. In relationships, you’re all warmth and heart—with a side of vintage champagne and French chocolates. Aquarius operates on a confusing paradox of logic and rebellion—and they’re far too egalitarian (and after a few dates, cheap) to pay for your luxe indulgences. Things could get experimental between the sheets, but in the real world? A total buzzkill.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Don’t date: Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
The seductive game playing is undeniably hot in this combination with both of you volleying naughty Snapchats and sexting throughout the day. But things go south when you try to seal the deal. You thought this was a cool flirtation and you just want to “see what happens.” Scorpio demands exclusivity and fidelity before you even kiss. With their willpower and manipulative charm, you’ll quickly become the sub to their dom.
Don’t date: Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
Wild, freewheeling Sagittarius rushes into your life like a whirling tornado—and sometimes, that’s just what you need to get yourself out of that shell. But you can’t ride that inconsistent wave pattern long without throwing your fragile sensibilities into a state of extreme anxiety. Archer’s insane social (and travel) schedule will clash with your nesting instincts and longing for one-on-one time. When you’re baring your soul, Sagittarius cracks a joke—and won’t understand why certain things (like spending time with family) are a big deal to you. The disconnect is just painful.
Leo (July 23-August 22)
Don’t date: Pisces (February 19 to March 20)
Dreamy, dazzling Pisces will instantly enchant you. At last! The magical playmate who will cuddle up with you in Never-Never Land. You could literally lose your foothold in reality staying up til’ dawn with this nocturnal creature. But beneath the fantasy-fueled veneer, Pisces’ somber moods can get stormy and depressive. You’ll take it personally—and even freak out—when Pisces goes dark, ignoring your texts for longer-than-a-Leo-can-manage spell. And neither of you has much willpower when it comes to your money. This one could leave you in debt!
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
Don’t date: Libra (September 23-October 22)
At last! Someone who can appreciate your refined and discerning tastes—and actually volley back some decent suggestions of their own. The first few dates will be pure magic…if you can get them scheduled. You demand definites. Libra speaks in “call me maybe’s.” Before you can relax and get intimate, you need know that a relationship is actually heading somewhere. Libras can barely commit to a dinner plan. And they refuse to be rushed into a romantic entanglement. Your patience will wear thinner than angel hair pasta, bringing out the frustrated mean girl in you—not a good look, Virgo!
Libra (September 23-October 22)
Don’t date: Virgo (August 23-September 22)
Bookish, cultured Virgo seems like a great match at first. You have similar tastes and both enjoy the finer things in life. But results-driven Virgo is on a constant self-improvement mission while you prefer to view the world through a rosier lens. You’ll feel rushed by their demands for action and certainty—and henpecked by “Coach Virgo’s” meddling (and unyielding) self-improvement tips. You’re a gift giver who spares no expense on the ones you adore; Virgo is cheap with everyone but themselves. And when they turn that critical eye on you, bye-bye sexual chemistry.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
Don’t date: Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Though you’re hopelessly attracted to Gemini’s mercurial style, the inability to pin them down (or make them commit!) will bring out your absolute worst. Gemini’s erratic communication patterns will leave you obsessively checking your phone and their unrepentant flirting will turn you into a raving, jealous lunatic.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
Don’t date: Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Cultured, epicurean Cancers make great hanging buddies, but keep them in the friend zone. In love, this coolly cynical sign can get cloyingly sweet and clingy. Your intimacy alarm bells will clang as Cancer basically moves in to your bachelorette pad after the third date—and the sentimental cards and letters might activate your gag reflexes and crueler sense of humor. You just…can’t.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Don’t date: Aries (March 21-April 19)
Aries is the zodiac’s infant and you’re the provider sign. The power dynamics are just off here. Unless you’re searching for a sugar baby, this combo could quickly turn into a romance-killing dependency. Even if you are both rainmakers, entitled Aries may feel perfectly justified spending your hard-earned fortune while hoarding theirs.
Aquarius (January 20 to February 18)
Don’t date: Taurus (April 20-May 20)
As much as you admire Taurus’ romantic fervor, their passionate intensity could leave your levelheaded sign mystified—if not overwhelmed and catatonic. You just can’t understand why they need to hear “I love you” with every text or get insecure when you plan a friend hangout without them. Their expensive tastes are a total turn-off to your humanitarian sign. While they order oysters and caviar, you’d rather be making a donation to the ACLU and saving up for an ayahuasca ceremony in Peru. Clashing values will ultimately kill this connection.
Pisces (February 19 to March 20)
Don’t date: Leo (July 23-August 22)
Need a nap yet, Pisces? At first, you’ll be dazzled by Leo’s sweeping chivalry and gallant romantic gestures. And oh, how the two of you will spend on “one more drink” that turns into a 48-hour marathon date. But who is this person who swept you off your feet? Your desire to plunge into deeper waters will be thwarted by Leo’s constant performing and praise-whoring. The proud lion’s struggle to be vulnerable could make you feel like the hot mess in the relationship—until you discover their credit card bills. Run!